Day 1

So as some of you might noticed I reset the day on the days on the title. As some of you might know, I originally started the count up to indicate the days that I parted with Ella. This reset, has no association like that. This time, I reset the day up because of a realization. A realization that in all realty, is shifting me to think about what most of us want in a relationship. We all want different things in someone. Including me. We all crave for that perfect guy/girl that we believe would make us give up everything we have for that person. We want that terrible feeling of missing someone in the middle of the night. HopIng and waiting for that person to call. We want that feeling of dependency which we will talk to that person all night on the phone. What is that feeling? Love? Are we really? In love?

I might sound like a realist.

We would always do things that trigger our mind to think that we are in love or the idea that she wants me. I believe that this is because we place so much value in the things that we see or hear in the media. We all crave that feeling, myself included. I want to hold my girl in the rain and tell her “you completed me” like the scene in the notebook. I want to kiss my girl in the middle of the crowd with grand musical on and everyone looking at me envying my romance. We all want that, no? But let’s be realistic, my significant other will crave that. But would they really want that reenactment?

The point I am trying to say is that, what we want, is really not what we might see. Because, no one is perfect in this world. There are always flaws. We wills always get a different outcome even when we try to. Reenact the same scene. Let’s be fair again, I will say most of the time with most of the people in the world.

I remember when I first met this girl, actually i think most of the girls I met. They will always tell me that they don’t like this or that or dislike certain things. Eg. I don’t like to Drink or smoke. I don’t like to get expensive things. After times passes by, the true self will usually appear. They will go “hang out” with friends which leads to getting to drink or smoke. They will start getting this new gadget which looks cute and it is very useful. We tend to be able to find the right exceuse to get to these things. Smart, aren’t we?

In all reality, we really just need to live thru the flaws . That’s if, we really truly love the other half. Some can do it, but some, just take a long time to realize the hard truth. That, it is not going to work. Obviously, we are going to see the flat out “this is not going to work in like a week”. On the flip side, we will see the one that simply lie to themselves and say that time will change a person. Can we do this??

Day x

It has been indeed a long time since I blog. The world has yet to change around me, as it seems. Past Images has fade as time passes through our raw body. In all reality, we would ask ourselves “what have we come about?” The beauty of life Is that we will never really know what’s next in our chapter. Of course, as some of you who followed (which I doubt since it has been awhile since I updated.) there has been more than one chapters in my life.

Life has been, indeed, interesting yet refresh. However, some of us will never change even when we in all reality learn from the past. We learn from our mistakes. We learn from depression, anger and all negative emotions and feelings. We might ask if these negatives are good for us. Yes, if course, for all negatives that appears aides us in seeing the positives. We wouldn’t know what really is the positives, when we don’t see the negatives. We don’t know if he/she is really out there when experience shows us that it is simply not working. We wouldn’t change unless there are someone who actually care enough to show you or to tell you about the negatives.

But what if the world is completely lack of communications? What if no one is willing to tell you about your negatives? What will happen to the word relationship? Whether it is an intimate relationship, friends, husband and wives or even family?

Realistically speaking, I think it is hard to find someone who is willing to communicate truly with you. Only the one who truly cares about you, will give you the slight will and time to communicate or talk to you.

For those who found one, congrats. For those who has yet to find that person, good luck.

-ck

redstarsingiingdarkskies said: Hi there, I hope you still remember me =) I hope everything is doing well, take care ü

Heyyyy I haven’t talk to you for a long long time. How are you???

Day 102

The new month starts and i have the say this month will be nothing but work and busy.  The schedule has already been set that it is nothing but hectic.  remembering the past i would complain to my significant other for some sort of, pity.  But the story is completely different now.  I wouldn’t really ask for anyone to pity but try to fight this myself.  I guess, it just shaped a stronger me.

-ck

1 note

Day 101

Last day of the month.  Feelings are dying down now.  it is another month that she haven’t contact me.  It’s just like my prediction, she will not contact me even after i’ve helped her.  She is simply using me.  Is this something that even a friend will do to another? 

so i guess, after love, it is really hard to have love. 

1 note

Day 100

it is said that one way we can use to forget is to avoid.  I’ve been doing that, i have not had any interactions with her what so ever.  Although i would secretly click on her social media page simply to see if there are another updates for her.  Fortunately, she’ve already filtered me out from all her interactions.  Slowly, her image also fades away. 

"is that how she look like still?"

2 notes

Day 99

I’ve come to a conclusion that i’m literally losing my mind.  For the pass couple of weeks, i’ve been doing nothing but going out non stop going out.  I feel like i am doing this so search that that missing piece of my life, again.  Do every individual need love  in order for them to survive in this cruel world?  Yes.  However, it is what kind of love that we need that separates ourselves from another.

2 notes

Day 98

minutes continue to go by and life continue to tick away.  But how it is possible, that her image continue to flow around my head?  I’ve loved, i’ve hated and now i am disappointed in her action.  What else, can i do to simply forget about her?  

-ck

1 note

Day 97

We promise a lot during our lifestyle.  But can we promise happiness?  no.

how often, can we really promise everyday happiness?  we cant.

-ck

Day 96

Sometimes i wonder, if one day i suddently dsee her again how am i going to react?  I would actually asked myself, “what exactly will i do?  will i even going to go up to her or i am just going to look at her from afar?”  i must say that before last week, i would probably respond yes, i will go up to her and talk to her.  However, the story is changing everyday as i encounter more and more with her.

who knows?  whats next?  more disappointment?

-ck