the world of beanie.

The new month starts and i have the say this month will be nothing but work and busy.  The schedule has already been set that it is nothing but hectic.  remembering the past i would complain to my significant other for some sort of, pity.  But the story is completely different now.  I wouldn’t really ask for anyone to pity but try to fight this myself.  I guess, it just shaped a stronger me.

-ck

Last day of the month.  Feelings are dying down now.  it is another month that she haven’t contact me.  It’s just like my prediction, she will not contact me even after i’ve helped her.  She is simply using me.  Is this something that even a friend will do to another? 

so i guess, after love, it is really hard to have love. 

it is said that one way we can use to forget is to avoid.  I’ve been doing that, i have not had any interactions with her what so ever.  Although i would secretly click on her social media page simply to see if there are another updates for her.  Fortunately, she’ve already filtered me out from all her interactions.  Slowly, her image also fades away. 

“is that how she look like still?”

I’ve come to a conclusion that i’m literally losing my mind.  For the pass couple of weeks, i’ve been doing nothing but going out non stop going out.  I feel like i am doing this so search that that missing piece of my life, again.  Do every individual need love  in order for them to survive in this cruel world?  Yes.  However, it is what kind of love that we need that separates ourselves from another.

minutes continue to go by and life continue to tick away.  But how it is possible, that her image continue to flow around my head?  I’ve loved, i’ve hated and now i am disappointed in her action.  What else, can i do to simply forget about her?  

-ck

We promise a lot during our lifestyle.  But can we promise happiness?  no.

how often, can we really promise everyday happiness?  we cant.

-ck

Sometimes i wonder, if one day i suddently dsee her again how am i going to react?  I would actually asked myself, “what exactly will i do?  will i even going to go up to her or i am just going to look at her from afar?”  i must say that before last week, i would probably respond yes, i will go up to her and talk to her.  However, the story is changing everyday as i encounter more and more with her.

who knows?  whats next?  more disappointment?

-ck

another day without hearing a word from her.  It seems like my prediction is moving towards being correct.

only one word can explain myself right now: disappointment.

-ck

everyone has their own love story
But no one knows, when this story begin and when it will end
When fate want to arrive, it will.  Theres no seperation of time
Vice versa, it will leave any minute.  As if the road has ended.
Not everyone will understand or can see it through
Because we will often blinded or numbed.
People say love, can cause one to do anything
but is it worth it?  That’s something for that person to decide
Emotion and Love, is just hard to explain
People who said they love, but they are only falsifying love.
What is love?  Even poets have no idea.
And of course, how can one explain love, when they’ve never encountered love?
We can only blame fate, that brought two person together in this big world.

With love, life and death is no longer a long distance
     But the funny thing is, it feel so distance when i am in front of you, yet, you have no idea that i love you.

-ck

so why it is that people will completely reject you out of the blue?  I just discussed about my friend’s situation regarding to his encountering.  This girl, whom they were seeing each other, just flat out message him and told him to have a good life.  Although there were different thing that happened, the mistake were mutual and it wasn’t a huge deal. 

we begin to evaluate what exactly went wrong.  but no matter what explanations we have it just doesnt seem to work on the situation.  Why?  why did this relationship just flipped 180 degrees?  we really just turned blank trying to find a reason to ourselves.

i guess, love is just this complicated.

-ck